My Eternal Kan: Sweet Sacrifice
by BurgerLover
Summary: The saga continued in Soul Calibur V! Will Amy survive Soul Tenge?
1. Chapter 1

My Eternal Kan: Sweet Sacrifice

Chapter 1  
Amy sat in her bedroom listening to Deadmau5. She cranked up the music so loud that everyone in the neighborhood could hear it. She started up her iPhone 6 and started recording herself. She looked into the cam and said "fuck da world bitchez, I'm joining the cool kids!" She began smoking what seemed to be the biggest can hashtag of Mary J anyone had ever seen before. Oh, did I forget to mention that she's totally into dub step and being emo. As she smoked the Mary J, she began to see pretty colors. She was laughing and showing her V to the cam, as any good Brit would not. Downstairs, Raphael was in his pink robe with cucumbers on his eyes, reading Rogue (TM) magazine that showed the hottest male bods of the 17th century [the front page featured Patrokolos] and eating a heap of crumpets at a time. Raphael had pretty much let himself go after he failed parenting his only childfuck. He gained a LOT of weight and hadn't shaved himself for months. As he heard the Deadmau5, he slowly slumped out of his chair and began creeping up the stairway to Amy's room. As he went up the stairs, he saw pictures of when she was little. How they used to play together and be a family..then everything changed when that cunt decided that being emo was cool even though that is soo 2003. So Raphael opened the door. Amy was so fucking stoned that her whole eye sockets were red. "AMY YOU'RE GROUNDED!" Raphael roared. Amy SCREEEEECHED at Raphael and said "FUCK YOU IM LEAVING!" And jumped out the window. "FINE LEAVE!" Raphael cried, but you can't tell because he still has cucumbers in his eyes. Raphael sobbed. Amy ran into the Evil Soul Forrest...but then tripped and cracked her skull and it ruined her memory!  
Huh where am I? The man woke up naked in the forest. He only had chains and a French Toast Trench coat thrown on him. There were baby wolves knawwing on his legs. "Eww." He kicked them away. But one stuck out to him. It was a pretty wolf, not much different. Well, it did kind of float in a hover panel from Star Trek and possess teleporting powers, and was not even the same shape as a real wolf... But the man still felt a connection with it. "You are Z.W.E.I. V2.0" it spoke to him. "You speak English?" The man questioned the wolf. "No. But I speak werewolf, and that is what I am speaking right now, Z.W.E.I.." He gasped. "I'm...?" The wolf nodded its hover panel forward. "Yes. You are now a werewolf... Technically speaking." The wolf continued. "Huh? What does that mean? I can be a cool beast right?" He humbled. "No. You are basically a programmer faggot. You see, you can call upon me whenever and i will fight with you. But yes, you will still get the stank of a werewolf, Z.W.E.I.." The wolf finished. "Wolf, why do you call me Z.W.E.I.?" Z.W.E.I. Spoke once more. "Because that is your name. And I am not a wolf. I am a wolf_ ." Z.W.E.I. was about to ask what his name meant when the wolf_ interrupted him. "You will learn the meaning of your name in time." At that moment both programmer and program looked to a girl who had just cracked her head and bleeded all the red out of her hair onto the forest ground. "Girl!" Z.W.E.I. cried out running to her.  
Deleted scenes: Katpiss comes frum no were and shoots Z.W.E.I. and murders da wolves. Dat is his past and y hi is wrrewilf.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
Z.W.E.I. runned to the fallen girl, who was completely blooded all over and her hair was white now because it bleeded on the ground. The blood seeped into her eyes too. He grabbed her with his wolfy hands. She woke up in a kawaii manner and gazed at Z.W.E.I. Then she immediately barfed all over Z.W.E.I. "OH GOD WHAT DA HELL IS DAT SMELL!" Amy screamed while holding her nose. Z.W.E.I. immediately dropped her into the ground, slightly offended. "Who...who are you?" Asked Z.W.E.I. getting down on all fours. "I...I..." Amy looked at herself, her dress, stockings, and shoes had bled out from red to purple and black. "I don't remember.." Amy gasped. She then turned to Z.W.E.I. and noticed his wolf_ . She slowly walked up to the wolf_ and admired its beautifully crafted solar panel workmanship. She saw orbs surrounded it. She touched an orb then...RIPPED IT FROM THE WOLF_ ! It howled in pain as its processor was ripped from its Intel Core. "I think I want to use this pretty orb as a weapon uguu~" said Amy. Z.W.E.I. stood up and angrily BARKED at Amy. "Ew god wtf you're da one dat STANKS like swampy pubes!" Amy emoly stated and threw the orb at him. Z.W.E.I. caught it in his mouth, ran on all fours, and gave it back to Amy. "You're strange. I haven't talked to many humans before. I am Z.W.E.I. and I am a...werewolf. I'm going to call you..Viola. Because it's Lolita and kawaii desu emogaku." Explained Z.W.E.I. "I'm a goffic princess of death. I need to know my past ;^;" Amy kawaiied. "Then let's go on a journey to the Kingdom of Dumbass." Offered Z.W.E.I., "but first, I need to take a piss." And he unzipped his pants, got down on all fours, lifted his leg, and peed on a tree." Amy was so disgusted that she cut herself. And so they began their journey to the Kingdom of Dumbass.  
Dumbass was an angry old foot on his dying bed. "If not me... Then him." He cried to a peasant. The peasant was wide eyed, filled with fear. "Dumbass!" He cried out and ran away. Dumbass teared, aboot to die. He wasn't even in his homeland of Canada. He was in some desolate Kingdom that named itself after his lavish lifestyle he had lived his past some 40 years. He was old, but one thing brought him closer to being Young again, Patrokoloa. It was a drink that his apprentice Patrokolos had made. It rivaled KokaKola, but it was still lacking. Patrokolos returned to Dumbass once again after making a Fresh batch of PatroKoloa. Just before, he had found Soul Edge and brought it too Dumbass. He left them to interview. Patrokolos entered the room."You dumbass!" Patrokolos roared. "Yes?" Dumbass dumbassed. "no I mean you are the dumbass as in the deragatory slur!" Dumbass was still not understanding Patrokolos's point. "Patrokolos, I don't need to be immortal through Soul Edge, although that is an option, but I want to be able to drunk PatroKoloa. I interviewed Soul Edge and it said it does not like PatroKoloa. If I merge with him I will be immortal but I will hate PatroKoloa :( ." Dumbass explained sad faced. Patrokolos left the room embarrassed at his foolishness for following such a Dumbass. Dumbass cried, and his tears rolled into Soul Edge's eye and it understood his love for PatroKoloa. It offered to join and so NIGHTMARE WAS BORN...and PatroKola was made! (A mix of KokaKola and PatroKoloa).  
The newly born Nightmare stood atop his castle, where all his peasants could see. They all gazed up at him as he sipped a bottle of PatroKola. "This is fuckin delicious! (TM)" everyone cheered, as the new State Drink, PatroKola was accepted. In the castle square there were four people that all peasants talked about. "I NEED FOOD FFFFUUUUUU!" Cried a half mutilated monkey goatsecks child to the world. "XIBA SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Maxi yelled while pounding Xiba's skull, which broke his spine so he wobbled a bit. Various townspeople murmured as they walked by ( "By the gods, bless Maxi's soul for adopting that Downy/ADHD/retarded baby that was in the dumpster for so long!" "I heard he adopted all three of those poor children!" "The gods will make him a saint for taking care of such incompetent beings in this world!") Everyone knew that Maxi always wanted children, but Astaroth was unable to bare any because he is sterile. So instead, he stole children from wealthy Chinese families to fill the endless void that consumed his ballsack. "BUT MAXI I R HUNGR." Cried XIBA as his organs began to collapse from the lack of spine support. "Maxi I want a new purse o_o" cried Xuangua II. "I WANT A BOOB INCREASE x^x" cried Natsu. Maxi stopped walking and fumed out of his ears. He turned back toward them and his head grew super large and red (so angry desu~). He pulled out a cig and began yellering, "BACK IN 'NAM WE DIDN'T GET NUTHIN YA NO GUD BABY JEWSACKS. I ALMOST DIED FER MEH LOVER ASTAROTH. YALL CAN JUST GIT ALONG 'ND BE GRATEFUL FER WHATCHA HAVE!" The two girls began to cry and apologized for being selfish, and Xiba did nothing because he honestly didn't understand anything because he's a Downsey kid. Maxi throttled his knee into Xiba's teeth which sent him flying over a fence to a meat grinder. The two girls ran off to get a good look at Patrokolos and his hawt bod (he was featured on Rogue magazine (TM)). Maxi growled and went after the girls. In the distance Z.W.E.I. and Amy arrived at the Dumbass Kingdom.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
Amy was dying to get away from Z.W.E.I. because he smelled like rotten eggs mixed with pig poop. Z.W.E.I. had to take a piss again, so Amy took the opportunity to lose him in a big crowd in the town square. She wove her way through the crowd...and spotted a blonde man wearing white clothing. All the wihmens were fawning over him. And by fawning I mean they actually were so kawaii that they turned into Bambis. Amy made eye contact with the man. She felt like she had seen him before somewhere...but didn't remember because Alzheimer's. He ran through the crowd and stood in front of Amy. "Hey." said Patrokolos. "Your skin is pale..you are blonde, and you wear white. I know what you are..." Amy said while turning around. Everyone gasped in anime anticipation. "A FUKIN PREP!" Amy exclammered while shoving a finger up Patrokolos's nose. Patrokolos gaped in horror as his body deflated uguu. Amy runned out of the crowd. "I MOIST HAF HER!" Patrokolos flapped. All the fangrills sighed unhappy, not unhappy because of Patrokolos, but because deer meat is just so good cooked with vinegar, and since they were Bambis, they just couldn't resist becoming cannibals and eating themselves (this explains the random backgrounds in SCV).  
Deleted scenes: Xuangua and Kilik were walking along the town square together -v- Ching Chang chonging along, when suddenly Leixia walked up to them. "HEY MOM, MAXI KILLED XIBA!" She cried. "WAT A DA FUK? U FUKIN A SUM BODY ERSE?! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻" Kilik yelled while flipping a table to being beating Xuangua into submission. "A PING PANG PONG I A SO SORRU I GET HARNEY A SOMTIMES WEN U A NOT HOME x^x" Xuangua pleaded while being beaten to a bloody pulp in front of everybody (nobody cared because it's what azn men do to their wihmenz).  
Patrokolos ran into the forest after Amy. "Damn she is faster than me pleasing my mom." He groaned. Amy detected his presence and spread her legs. The orb ball glowed out of her vaginal shaft, and soon it was a free ball. She bowled it at Patrokolos, who had taken a break because he was unfit for running. "Ah Nothing beats a drink of Dumbass's new partnership drink, PatroKola!" PatroKolos sipped a wine glass as the moon ball slammed right into his stomach. It did not even phase him. Amy was stunned. She ran to Patrokolos. "WTF YOU PREP Y DIDNT YOU DIE!?" He did not even notice her anymore! Patrokolos was a zombies being. "Must correct souls..." He murmured. A rustle in the woods startled Amy. A hoard of Bambi's came out. "Oh it's just kawaii meat..." She sturtled. But her sturtled was false, because then she saw one Bambi had a can of PatroKola on its mussel. "OH SHIT. I FOGURED IT OUT. THE KOKAKOLA COMPANY IS unknowingly POISONING THE PEOPLE THROUGH the mixture of Patrokoloa and KokaKola! PatroKola is Soul Edge's secret weapon! OMG thT is SOOO EMO! ^.^" She kawaiied. But then Z.W.E.I. came and his stank made everyone normal. The Bambi's ran away, confused, forgetting their identities of their human lives thanks to the bastard Patrokolos. Z.W.E.I. smirked. "I saved you!" But Amy was pissed. "Wow. How proper a fucking goth has to come and ruin an Emo's fun. ." Z.W.E.I. ignored the bitch and continued his search with the girl. For what they did not know, now Patrokolos was going to follow them once he regained his consciousness!Meanwhile a very drunk dumbass named Dumbass now called Nightmare or Dumbmare for short was secretly plotting the end of the world with Sul Tenge! (That's soul edge for short!, preps...)  
Amy and Z.W.E.I. continued their journey onward to the Depths of Hell to find Amy's past and to save the world from PatroKola. They came across a small shack in the middle of the road that said "K33P 0UT!" on it. "UGH stupid preps tryin to keep me out Wut da hell." Amy expressed while expressing her caboose into gear and slamming down the door. What they found was even more intriguing than the endless desert they walked on. It was Ivy, Edgemaster, Tira, and Pyhrra all smoking a hookah together. Edgemaster was so baked that he imitated a humpback whale (WHICH IS ILLEGAL AND OPPRESSIVE TO TEENAGE HUMPBACK WHALES EVERYWHERE! #FREEWILLY) "welcomeee..." Murmured Ivy, who took a big wiff of smoke that enlarged her iron tits. O_O Amy gave that face to everyone in the room. "Let's get oudda here Z.W.E.I..." She turned but Z.W.E.I. wasn't at her side anymore. "Z.W.E.I.?!" Z.W.E.I. and his wolf_ had just joined in on the smokin fun. "Duuudddeee...we need the Donja-Ganja Staff to eradicate the PatroKola..." Ivy said to Amy, but passed out because her brain overloaded from the nasty stank that Z.W.E.I. gave off. "UGH. FUKIN PREPS U DONT KNO HOW TO SMOKE A HOOKAH!" Amy yelled while running out of the shack. Unfortunately she came face to face with Dumbmare who evilly stared at her with evil eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:  
(This chapter is what happened while Amy and Z.W.E.I. went to the Depths of Hell.) Siegfried sat alone in the town square of The Kingdom of Dumbass. He looked around, as children played and wihmenz went shopping and menly men got ripped off by Dampierre, the town Jew. Siegfried reminisced about the good old days when he was in his twenties. He got shiny armor, got laid, got drunk, could order hot meaty sausage breadsticks off the 99cent menu at Pizza Hut, and was feared by all mankind. Oh, how he missed being nightmare...doink! A ball hit Siegfried in the head. A child accidentally kicked it at Siegfried. 'Heh...this is my chance to relive the glory days...' Thought Siegfried to himself. "OFFER YOUR SOU..." Siegfried was cut off because the children all ganged up on him and kicked the shit out of him. "YOU DON'T SCARE US YOU...YOU HAS BEEN!" A child yelled 1 inch from Siegfried's face. Siegfried's bloody busty poofy face bloated as he shed a single tear of sadness watching the children resume their ball game. Was he really a Has Been?! Was he a forgotten toy on Toy Island during Christmas time?! Had he just been denying it?! Siegfried staggered up and slowly walked over to a dark alleyway. He bleeded blooded everywhere. He came upon a soda dispenser. He paid 5cents for a can of PatroKola. As the machine was about to dispense it, it stopped. "FUCK!" Siegfried raged while pounding on the soda dispenser. "So...it got you hooked too eh?" Said a voice in the shadows. "Huh?" Siegfried asked. "The PatroKola...it's becoming an epidemic...the townspeople are starting to...become things unlike themselves." Said the voice, apparently smokin a joint. Siegfried stepped closer to the voice to reveal..."Princess Algol?!" Siegfried shat himself. Algol was wearing a thick green robe with a mask, pink boots, and...an apple on his head? "Yea. I saw what those kids did to ya. Real shame that. -takes another whiff of smoke- it's a shame ain't it? We was once powerful men, you and me. We owned this city. Now we nothin' but a pair o' rotten Has Beens -inhales more-" Algol cooly cooldicked. Algol was so concentrated on looking and sounding cool that he didn't realize Siegfried had ignored and walked away from him. "HEY!" Algol yelled at Siegfried. "NO!" Siegfried collapsed onto the ground, "I...I WALKED AWAY FROM THAT LIFE! I...I...i..." Siegfried broke down crying. Algol came up to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "It's ok lad. You don't have to hide it anymore. It's time to redeem ourselves." Algol said. "I...I..." Siegfried murmured. "I'm just like youuu!" Algol began to sing I Am A Girl Like You (TM) from Barbie's Princess and the Pauper (C). Siegfried couldn't deny his inner pauper so he joined in and sang too. This song distracted the townspeople, and let Algol and Siegfried see King Dumbass (who was now Dumbmare) sneakily escape into the forest. Together they followed King Dumbass into the Depths of Hell to finally end his reign and take back their former glory!  
Dumbmare stared coldly at Amy. "OMG I am liek ur biggest fan girl!" She rasped. But Dumbmare did not care. He was too fixed on the chest. "oh I'd fuck that... So hard..." Amy was stunned. "O-o wtf omg u perv. U wan my chest?" Dumbmare began taking his armour(TM) off. "Yeah... Yeah... Yeah! IM GOING TO FUCK IT SO HARDD!" He groanled. Amy teased him. "Oh yeah big boy... Your big hand... Wait.., where's your hand?" Amy noticed Dumbmare did not have his huge hand that she had always fantasized fukling her. "And... Wait... It?" Amy began to grow angry. "I AM A GIRL U FUKIN PREP!" Dumbmare only had his upper body armour(TM) and helmet now. He ran toward Amy and- pushed her away?! And headed straight for the chest on the wall! He opened it and began shoving his Nightmareish dick into the box. "TAKE IT.. TAKE IT... OHHH." Amy began to recognize the voice... The nightmare was fading... He was losing his form. Finally he fell on the floor collapsed. Amy walked up to him and poked the bodeh with a stick. "O-o oh Ophelia! (Meaning he is unconscious)." She looked inside the chest... It was a crumpet! Or at least the remains of a crumpet! She had a flash back of a man... With blonde hair and a vampire obsession. Her head hurt. ". ahgu!" She punched the air. She kicked the helmet off of the so called Dumbmare who clearly wasn't actually him because he did not have the arm and revealed that it was...  
An Englishman. A random Englishman from a random village. (YOU FORGOT THAT ALL BRITS FUCK CRUMPETS DIDNT YOU?!) "WAT DA HELL U FUKIN PREP U GAVE ME A FUKIN ALMOST FLASHBACK U POSER!" Amy screeched at the random villager. "Eh...sorry chappy-o. I must now Tally-ho the bloody 'ell outta here!" The villager zipped up his dick and ran bare ass nekkid outta the shack. Amy ran outside and cursed his name in Goff. It was now night time, and there was a full moon. Amy gasped. "OH NO WUT IF Z.W.E.I. TURNS INTO A MONSTER ND KILLS MEH?! Dat wud be so fukin dark ;^; but I dunt wanna dye yet." Amy ran back inside the shack but Z.W.E.I. wasn't there (it was only Tira and Ivy and Edgemaster playing stoned Go Fish). She ran back outside and pulled out her bazooka just in case. "Here Z.W.E.I. Z.W.E.I. Z.W.E.I..." She called into the dark fog that surrounded her. Suddenly she bumped into something! She cried and blew it up. It was a random villager, so it didn't really matter lol. But then Z.W.E.I. appeared. He started to cough blood violently. "OH SHIT!" Amy yelled, awaiting Z.W.E.I.'s transformation. Then he threw up all over her. She was so astonished flabbergasted disgusted that she couldn't move. He then preceded to lick her face that he had just barfed on. Then he past out instantly (from all the hash he had ingested). "FUKIN gross! Ugh god..." Amy stopped talking because there was a rustle in the bushes!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: It was unreasonable.

It was... Strange. Amy could not explain the feelings she was feeling in the feelingish movement of moments. "The feels... So goth..." She whispd. Before her stood an ungodly creation. Something that every gothic fangril fantasizes about as she furiously masturdates her room. It was a..."GOTHIC JUMPING CASTLE & PHOTO LLC. !?" Amy SCREEEAAAAEEDCHED. Her heart was in a new haven. She face dove into the opening that led into the castle of jumping jubilee- darkly of course. Amy jumped and humped and jumpidy dee'd all around until she was interrupted but that FUKIN prep Z.W.E.I.. "Ugh. Wat da hell. Can' am enjoying my gothic bouncy castle?" She 16year old girled. Z.W.E.I.'s stank from his pits instantly swept the enclosed castle and nearly made Amy puke. "Ugh..." He groaned, sick from puking earlier. "OMG FUK DAT SMELL!" She slapped the wolffie. "ASSIMILATING PARTICLES." A voice said, as an eerie wind cleansed the castle. "Oh wow it's not stinky anymore!" Amy kawaiied and continued jumping. She turned back to Z.W.E.I.. "Ahahaha. See u can't destroy my castle of gothic fun!" Z.W.E.I. struggled on the ground but managed to get up and move to a side of the castle Any had not noticed before. He sat in a enclosed machine with a curtain around it. Curious, Amy watched as he went in, saw a flash of light, and came out with a burger. He ate it quickly (because werewolfs r pigs if u take shorter to eat than 1h werewolf. It is science). "Wow Amy. I'm really proud of you. Now that you are cool who others and stuff." Z.W.E.I. began. "Huh?" O.o "I never thought you would finally accept that you were a goth at heart all along and not a dumb emo." Z.W.E.I.'s words penetrated Amy's ears like a Nazi rocket ejaculating into the ear of a dead Jew whom had been gassed and previously sexed by another man of the same religion. "I AM NOT GOTH. I AM EMO!hich!" Amy roaredddddd. The castle exploded in two and blood gushed everywhere? IT WAS CHARADE THE WHOLE TIME! "I AM SICK OF THIS CHARADE! YOU SET UP AN EMO JUMPING CASTLE BUT DARED TO CALL IN GOTH AND I DID NOT NOTICE?! YOU MUST PAY!" Pyrrha randomly appeared and Amy cracked a piece of her crystal ball to make crystal meth. She injected Pyrrha. "UGHHHA. WHYYY..." Pyrrha die bitched. Pyrrha Collapsed, Amy held Soul Edge."TIME TO DIE MOTHERSOULER!"  
Amai slash-ed at charade. Well, at least she WANTED to slash at charade. She tried to lift soul edge but it was too heavy. "UGH. FUKIN PREPS IM AN EMO I DUNT LIFT HEAVY STUFF -_-" Amy was bested as she collapsed into the mud. Charade crackled because its bones cracked. "NOW SEE IM THE POWER!..." Charade was interrupted by Z.W.E.I. humping its leg with his tongue hanging out. Charade imped. Charade was no more. Only a burger resided in his place...Z.W.E.I. unzipped his pants...and...turned the burger into the Mona Lisa. Amy was so hape. "Z.W.E.I...I dudnt no u wer so artistic. O-O" Amy gaspethed. Z.W.E.I. then shoved his dick into his masterpiece. The whole area stanked so bad there was green particle effects everywhere because it was so nasty stank smells. Amy cried and past out. She woke up in an arena. She was tied to a stake. She saw Patokolos and...DumbMare? Both of them wielding...a soda can?


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

Patrokolos was slashing at DumbMare with vigor and powerhouse. "DIE YOOOO MALFESTED SCUUUMMMM!" He faggoted. DumbMare merely stood still. Patrokolos continued besting on DumbMare's armor, but it did nothing. With each hit DumbMare cackled. "mwa-" *HiT* "aha-" *ClAnK* "yahau-" *ClNk* "ahahaha!" Patrokolos flew into a tantrum. "ITS NOT FAIR! Mother would never have let this happen... She would have given you a spanking for sure... you... YOU... GAYFAGGOT!-" at that moment, Patrokolos's soda can began to glow and time froze. "Wha-!?" Patrokolos cried out in shock. He faded from existence and into a pillarous location. A woman with wings stood before him. "Mo-mother?" He moaned, letting his pants fall down as his dick released a stream of cherry-goodness, known as Patrokoloa. "Son..." She stroked his head... And then bashed it in with a sledgehammer. Patrokolos felt his skull shatter into twelve defined pieces - and watched as they fell down to earth- becoming fragments of Soul Calibur. "WHY MOTHER..." He grew weak. "BECAUSE YOU DARED TO DEFY YOUR MOTHER'S WISHES. BURN IN EARTH YOU SCUM. I HAVE NO SON." As he fell farther down from space slowly approaching Earth's atmosphere he had an epic eliding epiphany! Z.W.E.I., Patrokolos's friend from the past,'s wolf_ was actually a lobo_ ! That sly bastard had tricked Z.W.E.I. into picking an older generation model that was not worth the money or the time! Oh and he realized why his mother did this to him. He had said "GAYFAGGOT", a word which his mother had marched against during her early years. Patrokolos recalled him and Pyrrha sitting in bed together, naked and gently fucking while his mother told them a folk tale which was actually related to the current world events. "And so kids, that is why the terrible land of the United States will never function." His mother in Patrokolos's flashback concluded. As she turned off the lights and was about to close the door Pyrrha yelped. "Mother! Wait!" She turned back and asked, "what dear?" Pyrrha asked timidly, "Why do you have to leave so long during the day and why did you quit work?" Mother sighed, and took a deep breath. "Well, sometimes things are worth fighting for. The gay people of Soul Calibur universe are being discriminated against and are rallying against the word "GAYFAGGOT." We won banning that word, and I expect that none of you ever say it amongst any gay-caliburs, and that includes me young lady!" She spanked the shit out of Pyrrha for 19 minutes straight and then went back to the door, but then turned around and continued her story. "The other times I fight for gender equality... I am a FemiNazi after all. So goodnight kids, I'm off to the lynching !" She finished putting a white sheet over her body and pointed hat on her head. Patrokolos continued falling, realizing his mistake. He would make things right! He had too! He burned up in the atmosphere, feeling tons of pain and when he was disintegrated he woke up back hitting DumbMare with the can. He was breathing heavy- a result of the terrifying flashback. "NO YOU FOOL!" A voice called out from the shadows. It was Maxi! "LOOK at your can! Patrokoloa will be destroyed if you keep hitting DumbMare with it! It is all dented!" For the first time since the start of the battle Patrokolos looked at his can and in his horror saw it was near death. "Stay back kid!" Maxi did a summersault backflip swag lip jump and landed perfectly in front of Patrokolos doing his nun-chuck movement dance. "How did you kno-" Patrokolos was in shock that Maxi had come to his aid in this dire situation."SH! Kid, you know I can't resist protecting a fighter who fights with vigor and powerhouse!" Maxi wa-chawed. DumbMare laughed "TOOK YOU THAT LONG?" DumbMare held his can out and then Maxi hit it with his nunchucks! The can broke in half and spilled all over Maxi. Patrokolos was shocked. "YOU DID IT... YOU defeated..." The victory was cut short, as DumbMare reached into his core and pulled out another can. "AHAHAHAHA. SOUL EDGE HAS HELPED CREATE AN ARMY OF PATROKOLA. ALL ARE AS LETHAL AS THE ORIGINAL! JUST LOOK AT YOUR FRIEND! OR SHOULD I SAY EX-FRIEND? ahahaha!" DumbMare's joke sucked. But not as bad as Maxi was feeling because his face was melted and he could not move! The soda had paralyzed him and ate his skin! Was all hope lost? Maybe not, because over the horizon lay two worriers and one warrior willing to help Patrokolos and Maxi!  
It was Z.W.E.I...Algol...and Siegfried! The two worriers and one warrior ran down the horizontal hill and charged at DumbMare! "HEYAAAAA!" They screamed. Siegfried drew his sword, Algol drew his...cannon, and Z.W.E.I. drew his wolf_ . They all stood before DumbMare, endraggled and angrimyled by his atrocious behavioUr. Siegfried began to slash, "DIE YOU HUNGARIAN SC..." Siegfried dropped his sword mid sentence and fell to the ground, bleeding everywhere. Algol also bested into the shallows of the pond he had peed. "SHIT..THE RHEUMATORY ARTHRITIS IS KICKING IN!" Siegfried and Algol cried (40 is soo old o-o). Siegfried began crawling inchingly toward Z.W.E.I., but DumbMare walked over to him and popped open a few PatroKola cans and dumped them on Siegfried's back. Everyone, the entire army, Amy, EVERYONE just stood there and watched as DumbMare poured more PatroKola cans on Siegfried as he painfully screamed and crawled toward Z.W.E.I. with his body disintegrating. Siegfried, after 2 minutes of doing this, grabbed Z.W.E.I.'s leg and stared up at him. "Z.W.E.I...I need to tell you something...important..." Siegfried beckoned Z.W.E.I. to come closer. "Closer" Siegfried coughed. He was now only half a torso. Z.W.E.I. put his ear to Siegfried. "I.. I am...your..." Then Siegfried just barfed all his organs that he still had in his upper body all over Z.W.E.I. in a storm of blood and rage as his blood vessels and body parts imploded on the spot and erupted into a volcanic sphere of fire. Siegfried was no more. "Fuck." Said Z.W.E.I., looking at Patrokolos. Patrokolos held his beaten arm in pain and "HNG-ed" at Z.W.E.I. as he fell over. "SHIT" yelled Z.W.E.I., as he ran up beside Patrokolos. "Please..." Patrokolos began as Z.W.E.I. Yaoied over patrokolos. "Your wolf_ ...it's actually not a wolf_ ..." Patrokolos began. "NO! Why should I believe YOU!" Z.W.E.I. anime pouted. "YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE!" Patrokolos shouted getting up. Z.W.E.I. began to cry kawaii tears of dog. "My life..my life is a lie..." Z.W.E.I. was bested and fell to his knees. "No Z.W.E.I... It's ok...it's not over...it's just..it's just... One generation behind..." Patrokolos touched Z.W.E.I.'s shoulder. "NO! I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO AFFORD THE UPGRADE!" Z.W.E.I. bit Patrokolos's hand and started to run and cry. But Patrokolos kawaiily tripped Z.W.E.I. and his face skidded into the ground and gave him rug burn. "You may not be my sister, but I'll still love you even if your wolf_hound-tech is not V7." Desued Patrokolos, as he began viciously making out with Z.W.E.I. in front of the entire army. DumbMare was completely and utterly confused about what the fuck had just happened. But he saw a mysterious light...a grand transformation was occurring... The lobo_ was upgrading itself...TO VERSION 8?! Everyone gasped. "NO! The prophecy will not come true! We must sacrifice the young emo on the stake to the PatroKola gods before it's too late!" DumbMare pointed at Amy. "O-O" Amy faced, as she was about to face death by PatroKola.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

DumbMare ran towards her and popped the can open. A little bit of the PatroKola splashed onto her leg. It burned it as it fried through her skin. "AHHHHHHH... ohhh... So emo!" She moaned. No one cared. DumbMare began pouring the acidic content of the Kan all over her. "AHHHHHHHHH!" She screeeeeeemed. Her face and skin started melting. Her thys burned off. Her stomach burned off. Her heart burned. Her brain dissolved. Her hair ashed. And nothing but a skeleton remained. But no one cared. They were all too busy watching the lobo_ evolve two generations, which was unheard of! Maxi gaped in awe. "It's upgrading... Two generations... For free?! That is impossible! It should cost at least $3000!" But evolve it did. And when it was over, the shinning dimmed, and in its place a bland white solid wolf stood. Z.W.E.I. Fell to his knees. "I love it. What is your name?" The new tech responded. "I am... Wolfdows 8." Everyone gasped. Including that ded fag Siegfried. There was no _! There was a " " ! (Space). Z.W.E.I. got up. "What are the new features?" The wolf began calculating. "Wolfdows 8 features a variety of new features, such as the new extra powerful stank on his owner, and a metro design that you will not like or be able to understand. It was frustrate you greatly. And now I have the ability to analyze any material and create an antidote." Everyone pulled out their cellphones. Even DumbMare, and preordered the amazing tech that was Wolfdows 8. Including Amy! "Viola! Why are you a skeleton?" Cried Z.W.E.I. "FUCK YOU. Haha. Skeleton and deth by cutting acid? So dark rite? :3. BUT REALLY WHAT THE HEL Y DID U NOT SAV ME HE POURD TAT SHIT OVR ME AT LIK ONE OUNCE A SECOND!" Patrokolos got up. "No, I won't." He canceled his pre-order for Wolfdows 8. Everyone gasped. "MOTHER SIAD TECHNOLOGY WAS NEVER THE REAL THING. I understand now, I must finish this once and for all, using the basis of nature!" Patrokolos pulled down his pants and began thinking of Pyrrha. "I must... I must!" No-!A flash of flashback came back to saw a vision. Patrokolos was a baby. He was looking at his baby self... And then he saw his mother. He chummed a bit. Then he saw... The lobo_ ... Giving birth to Pyrrha?! He turned to Patrokolos. "Patrokolos, i know you ar a baby but u will remember this some day. I am. Your father. The last thing Patrokolos saw before being euthanized was lobo_ 's AMD PROCESSOR sticker.  
Patrokolos snaped out of his flashback and pooted on the ground. "AH SHIT!" Screeamed Patrokolos. Having flashbacks gives him diorrhea. Z.W.E.I. slowly walked up to him and bitch slapped Patrokolos to the ground. "NEVER EVER CALL MY WOLFDOWS 8 A FAKE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" Z.W.E.I. stammered. Patrokolos began to cry and started shaving his legs. "UGH U FUKIN PREPS IM A FUKIN SKELETON I HAT AL OF U POSERZ!" Amy yelled at no one in particular. Everyone ignored her. "wolf...Wolfdows 8..." Patrokolos coughed. "Yes carbon based life form?" Wolfdows 8 replied. "I...I...I know mother said technology was wrong...and she stood against it her whole life...but...if she really meant it..then why did she fuck you?" Patrokolos asked. Everyone gasped in kawaii montage manner. "Because, young Patrokolos, sometimes two rivers meet and beavers begin to scrape logs to build homes. This River was in no danger of being a log, but within your soul you must find peace." Wolfdows 8 exclaimed. Patrokolos teared up. Z.W.E.I. teared up. Everyone teared up, mostly because when Z.W.E.I. gets emotional his stank intensifies. "Son..." Wolfdows 8 harmonified while peddling toward Patrokolos. "Father..." Patrokolos smiled while hobbling toward Wolfdows 8. They were about to hug when BAAAAAAAMMMMMMM a sniper rifle shot Wolfdows 8 in the shoulder. Wolfdows 8 collapsed. "NOOOOOOO!" Screamed Z.W.E.I. and Patrokolos in unison. They all turned toward the sound of the gunshot. "GET AWAY FROM AMY YOU UNDIGNIFIED TROLLEY RIDERS!" Yelled an out of breath Raphael with a rifle in his hand. "AGG!" Amy angsted, as she collapsed on the floor, her memories hurting her skeletal head. "Who the fuck is Amy?" Stupidly asked DumbMare. "That young skeleton who is GOING TO BE GROUNDED FOR BURNING HER SKIN OFF!" Yelled Raphael. This only caused Amy MOAR angsty headaches. "YOU RUFF RUFF WOOF WOOF GRRRRRRR!...wait viola is Amy?" Asked Z.W.E.I. mid sentence. "Who the bloody L is viola?" Raphael pondered, but was shortly tackled by Patrokolos. "YOU ASSHOLE YOU MURDERED MY FATHER!" Patrokolos whined in the bitchiest voice imaginable. "Wait..." Coughed the Wolfdows 8, as it was dying. Patrokolos climbed to the Wolfdows 8's side and held its paw panel. "Yes...?" Patrokolos cried. "Patrokolos...I want you to know that even when I wasn't with your mother..I always..." BAAAAAAAM Raphael sniped the Wolfdows 8 in the head. "Oh my, I am quite naughty! I didn't put the poor animal out of its misery when I shot it the first time!" Chuckled Raphael. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Cried Patrokolos...while touching his nipples. Meanwhile, Amy was having a seizure and foaming out of her skeletal mouth. Nobody cared except Raphael. Raphael ran over to Amy in a worried parent fashion.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Amy was gross. Raphael pickled her up untiring form the stake. He lay her on a ambulance that appeared when he parented. "Speak!" He cried. She coughed softly. Raphael stroked her boney skeletal cheek and whisped, "it's going to be okay." Before getting up to turn around. "Wait..." Coughed Amy, as she was dying. Raphael combed to Amy's side and held her hand. "Yes...?" Raphael cried. "Raphael... I want you to know that even even when I was bitching at you and being emo... I always..." BAAAAAAM Patrokolos sniped Amy in the skull and her skeleton shattered into a million pieces. "aha!, I am quite the woman beater! I didn't realize I could be a dick and BE COOL! Mother never told me I could be both!" Patronessed Patrokolos. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Cried Raphael... While squeezing his fat on his belly. "no. Fuck this shit I did NOT agree to that garbage!" DumbMare was raging on the fone, apparently Somehting was amuck. "WE AGREED..." DumbMare was interrupted by a loud voice on the other line. "Bro, who has the power? Me. I make the goody creme, and you dominate the world for me. You are a thug. Nothin MOAR brah." It was Soul Tenge! DumbMare slammed his fone on the ground. "FUCK THIS. I VOID THE CONTRACT." And with that, all those possessed by PatroKola were set free, and DumbMare was no moar. He became the dumbass Dumass again. "I am going to join a gay rights activist movement!" He declared and marched into his brand spankin new convertible in rainbow colors. It red "rainbows are gay. Balloons are gay. I am gay. U r gay. If u r nt gay I will brun ur hose down." It was a catchy slogan, and everyone smelt the exhaust of his gay car and nodded in approval- even Amy's crushed skull and Wolfdows 8. It was a fruity smell that everyone loved. "God I love the gays." Maxi feminized as he scooped his remaining akin off the skin on the ground.  
Raphael walked up to Patrokolos. "Hah. How does it feel to be bested by a COOLDICK?!" Cocked off Patrokolos. Raphael only gestured ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ and stabbed his thumbs into Patrokolos's eyes. "FFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKK!" Screeched Patrokolos as his invertebre slammled into his petite skinny skull. Raphael then threw Patrokolos into the ground. Raphael went back to Amy's skeletal bodeh. "My poor sweet buffoon. I will always love you. I was a terrible parental unit..." Soap opera'd Raphael. Everyone else had left except DumbMare, Maxi, Z.W.E.I., and Patrokolos (now screeeaching on the ground in pain). Z.W.E.I. walked up to Raphael. "It's ok. Only true love's kiss can break the curse." Said Z.W.E.I. "But she's fucking dead..." stated Raphael. "Not in this world." Said Z.W.E.I. Walking up to Amy's fractured skeletal bodeh. Z.W.E.I. was about to kiss Amy like sleeping beauty. Everyone gaped. Everyone except Patrokolos who was now screeeaching for his mum. SUDDENLY PATROKOLOS TRANSFORMED INTO ELYSIUM! "Shit." Said Z.W.E.I. "Z.W.E.I...you have stood in my beloved son's way for far too long! It's time to EUTHANIZE YOU!" Screeched Elysium. She took out a high tech bazooka ultimate azn assault rifle and aimed it at Z.W.E.I.'s heart. "NOOOOOO!" Yelled Raphael and he took the bullet for Z.W.E.I. instead. "No!" Cried Z.W.E.I. falling to his knees holding Raphael. "It's ok...for if you are Amy's true love..then I will die for you to save her!" Raphael instantly seizured out and assimilated into the ground. Z.W.E.I. had tearce in his eyce...and TRANSFORMED INTO GIGA WOLF! Z.W.E.I. actually transformed! He swiped at Elysium and she collapsed. "Ugh! You stupid WHITE MALE CONSERVATIVES are what I fought against in the 60s!" Cried Elysium. "Hah. I don't even know what the means." Laughed Z.W.E.I. as he slashed at Elysium/Patrokolos and they assimilated into the ground. Z.W.E.I. transformed back into a human, naked of course, and walked over to Amy. He bent over her fucked up skeletal body and said, "welp...here goes nothing..."'and kissed her passionately on the lips. A flash of light filled the sky and sparkles surrounded Amy. Her skeletal body was lifted into the air and...she didn't wake up. She collapsed right back onto the ground and fractured into a million bones. "Well I tried." Said Z.W.E.I. Looking back at Maxi and DumbMare. "Oh sorry Z.W.E.I., I was testing out my new SparkleGaySimulatorGun(TM) on Amy's dead body. It works out pretty great doesn't it?!" Said DumbMare. "Yea, whatever." Said Z. . taking off his pants to take a leak. "You know Maxi, I can bare children." Said DumbMare. "Well, I've always loved the gays." Replied Maxi. Maxi hopped in DumbMare's sexy gay car and farted rainbows. "WE'RE GOING BACK TO MY HOMETOWN OF CANADA! Z.W.E.I. THE TOWN OF DUMBMARE IS YOURS!" DumbMare shouted at Z.W.E.I. "Yea, sure, whatever." Said Z.W.E.I. chomping on Amy's bones. "Man, she sure made a sweet sacrifice." Laughed Z.W.E.I., as he ingested her bones and threw up some of her hair follicles.


End file.
